Marion Denard

10 Ways Being a Mom is Like Being a Bartender

1. You spend an inordinate amount of time on your feet, standing at a counter.

2. You listen to everyone’s woes – the whining, the crying, the unintelligible mumbles.
3. You break up fights between belligerents who will not listen to reason.
4. You wipe down that counter you’re standing at – many, many times a day.
5. You’re the keeper of all the good stuff and your patrons are not above begging, bargaining, or flirting to get what they want.
6. People get distracted, miss the counter and spill their drinks. You clean up.
7. You get yelled at if their drink is not the exact, crazy-specific way they ordered it. (“But I wanted the OTHER KIND of orange juice!!!!”)
8. Often there is a lot of very loud fun happening around you. At least they look like they’re having fun. You’re at work.
9. Those around you are prone to sudden bursts of affection and unexpected declarations of love.


10. It would all be easier just to call them a cab and send them on their way.