Abby Stimpson

Raising Five Boys- But THIS was a First

11992274_10154134957348356_1383904369_nAs a mother of five boys I can honestly say there’s never a dull moment in our house.

On one particularly eventful day I was feeling exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed and DONE! Ladies, I was literally watching the clock praying we would all make it alive to bedtime. Finally the golden hour of happiness had arrived.  To say I was more than ready for this day to be done is an understatement.

While tackling the hooligans into busting out our nightly routine I realized I hadn’t seen my 3-year-old, Matty, in a while. Most people assume if your child is quiet they are up to no good. With this sweet lil’ man of mine  you just know silence with him is NEVER a good thing.

So I called out for Matty and he came in hesitantly to my room with a funny look on his face.

“Matty, where are your pants? More importantly where are your undies?”

He replied “I not know Mom.” Then he turned to run from me and when he did I saw what I feared most- a poop smear on his hinny. My OCD tendencies kicked into over drive. So naturally I took a deep breath and reminded myself to stay calm.  I asked him again, “Matty honey, you’re not in trouble but where are your undies bud?”

He then smiled and replied “Mom I took care of it!”  This reply made me nervous.

“How did you take care of it sweetie? Can you just show Mommy so I can help you please? Seriously Matty, it’s okay you had an accident but where’s the poop buddy?”

He thought about it for a quick second and replied “No I gots it taken care of.” 

At this point I started to feel like I was about to explode. My house was trashed, laundry everywhere, the kids were running amuck and I was starting to smell the poop but couldn’t find it anywhere and Mathew kept repeating that he “took care of it.”

I walked down the hall and the poop stench got stronger as I heard the dryer going in the laundry room. I thought to myself “That’s weird. I didn’t put a load in and Lord knows I am the only one who does laundry in this house… ” That’s when it hit me. NOOOOOOO! NOT MY BRAND NEW DRYER!

I opened up the laundry room door to find my worst fear confirmed. There, inside my beautiful new dryer, were my sons loaded poopy underwear. With tears welling up I opened it to find it was everywhere. HOT, MELTED POO WAS IN EVERY CREVISS OF THE DRYER. That’s when I  lost it. I went downstairs and gave my husband the “you better come save your children” look and he took over bedtime so I could literally bleach every inch of my new dryer. How’s that for a “crappy” end to a day? 

Motherhood is one of the most humbling experiences… especially if you are me. After almost three hours of scrubbing I had calmed down and went in to kiss my sleeping boys goodnight. When I kissed my stinky pickle Matty he opened up his eyes and said “Mommy I’m sorry. I was trying to wash it. I was trying to clean up the poop- not melt it.”  I acknowledged his efforts and asked him if next time he could just show me where the poop is and we can take care of it together.