March 2016

The “B” Word and the “F” Word- Kindergarten Style

20160322_102935[1]Don’t the best conversations always happen in the car?

So there we were, driving in the mini van and the conversation went as follows:

“Kids were talking about the “B” word and the “F” word today.” -Deacon

“WHAT? Like on the bus??”- Me. (Thinking maybe it’s time to stop riding the bus home from school!)

“No.” -Deacon

“On the playground?” -Me

“No.” -Deacon

“In Kindergarten?” -Me

“Yes, on the circle rug.” -Deacon

“Tell me about this conversation!” -Me.

He then proceeds to tell me about how they were talking about the B word and the F word and debating which word was worse. Someone thought the B word was worse and someone else was sure the F word was worse, so Deacon wanted to know which one was actually worse!

“Well, they’re both REALLY bad, and I hope you never say either one but I think the F word is worse.” -Me. At this point I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with a 5-year-old and that he knows these words!

“They’re not THAT bad mom. Brighton says them both all the time.” -Deacon.

What? My sweet 9-year-old girl?

Wait…something doesn’t seem right. So I ask him if he knows what the words are. He says yes but now he’s too scared to say them.

“The F word is…. (Deacon makes fart noise with his mouth and arm.) You have to look at me to know what the B word is…”

I glance in the back seat and Deacon points to his…. BUTT!

Oh thank the Heavens above!

Now let’s just hope he doesn’t go to school telling everyone I said the S word. “Shut up!”


It’s Her Birthday But SHHHH…don’t tell!

20151111_085051Today my BABY turns 4. FOUR! But she doesn’t know that. And I’m not telling her either.

I asked my family members to hold off on their sweet “Happy Birthday” phone calls today so as far as she knows today is just Wednesday. Actually she doesn’t even know that. She’s 4. She kind of knows it’s morning time.

What can I say? Sometimes kids’ birthdays just fall on days that aren’t so convenient for the rest of the family, so we float them to days that work better for US! Notice I said kidS? Plural? No, this is not even close to the first time we’ve lied to our children about what day their birthday is actually on. I mean, she knows her birthday is March 16th, but kids don’t read calendars. She’ll think Saturday is actually March 16th!

When I first married Aaron I was all about THE DAY. We had to celebrate the anniversary on THE DAY, not the weekend of. He thought I was super weird and was adamant that the actual day didn’t matter as long as you got it in sometime. I’ve started to sway his direction. Honestly, as long as you’re super stealthy, like me, your child will be none the wiser! And I don’t feel bad at all! I’m not SKIPPING her birthday, just floating it! I’m not going to be able to get away with this much longer! Teenagers probably read calendars… don’t they?

Come to think of it, we floated my middle child’s 4th birthday too! Two years ago we closed on our current house on his birthday and my husband decided we HAD to move on that day. That was also a Wednesday. So the entire day was moving day. My parents were in town helping out so we went to Red Robin the next night for his birthday and opened gifts there. Then he had his big  Pirate Party that Saturday in our new backyard using the moving boxes as pirate ships.























Oldest child’s birthday is January 2nd, which is usually a horribly inconvenient day as it’s the end of Christmas Break. SO… we typically have her birthday a day or two early while we’re with cousins for New Years. She’s cool with it. She’s 9 and she may not actually even know what day her birthday is. She just knows she had cake. Funfetti cake and frosting from a box and canister. That’s how I roll.

And about that, Pinterest has ruined motherhood for me. Well it’s at least ruined birthdays for me. That pirate ship and pirate castle was, by far, the coolest thing I’ve ever done for a birthday party. (Aaron did most of it.)

I’m just not a Pinterest mom!











Honestly, I’m more like an 80’s mom.


I wish that little blonde girl in the front was me SO bad.











Invite 20 kids over, play some old-school party games, run wild for a while, have cake from a box, open gifts and go home with your goodie bag full of dollar store prizes. The snacks don’t have fancy labels, the photo booth is a plastic table cloth and the theme is up to my kid.


My kids are happy! My kids know they’re loved and special and precious and don’t need a 5-layer birthday cake ON their birthday to know that. It’s a fine line but I think I’m balancing the tight rope well.


*Mom Confession: Even after writing this, looking at the ridiculous Pinterest parties made me feel insecure and lame.