Month

January 2016

Yep, I did that! #MOMFAIL

 

My youngest, Joe, turned 3 almost three weeks ago. One would think I would remember his age well. I vividly remember my pregnancy, and his birth. Who could forget getting themselves cut open and a doctor pulling another human out of your stomach? Yeah, I remember it well. Well, I apparently couldn’t remember that it all happened three years ago. Take a look:

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Yep! I told the baker Joe was turning 2. The best part of this whole thing? I didn’t even notice the error. I was too enthralled with how great the cake looked to notice there was anything wrong. It took the husband one second. He looked at the cake and instead of getting excited like I was (okay, he wouldn’t get that excited over a cute cake no matter what) he said, “Why does it say he’s 2?” I said, “What?” The husband then pointed out the number 2 on the cake. God bless the husband, he assumed the baker made the mistake. Nope, it was me. I checked the emails to the baker and right there in bold letters I said Joe was turning 2. It was all Mama’s fault. In fact, the baker offered to change it to a 3, but I told her no way, it will make for a great story someday, either around the dinner table or in the therapist’s office!

Reposted with permission from Boisenewsmom.com

Mom Confession Gets Some Lovin’

12565354_10207433997304851_3670471289157973105_nI had the best week EVER! I had the chance to be on a local Lifestyle show called Idaho Living to talk about “getting real” with other moms and this blog. It was so fun. These two ladies have my DREAM JOB so even getting to sit next to them and be involved was so fun!  Click here to watch!

Yes that was me…crying in Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve

20151222_133317I have to admit something. The whole Christmas season gave me PMS this year. I don’t know what it was! I’d be all excited to do something Christmassy like make a Gingerbread house and then we’d sit down to do it and I’d get all cranky and crampy. Ok not crampy but super cranky. It made no sense. But it happened over and over. I had a full-on meltdown when putting up my decorations because I’d just been to a friend’s house who has TWENTY-FIVE Christmas bins and her house looked like the flippin’ Festival of Trees! Even the backs of her kitchen chairs were festive. It was like I went into the season just feeling like I didn’t have the “ho ho ho” spirit. I just had ho.

So this year we decided to take a vacation for Christmas instead of getting together with my family which we have done our entire 11 years of marriage. I was excited for the change and looking forward to it. Then I really did get a visit from Aunt Flo ON the plane ride to Washington. I was seriously MAD. I cursed the very existence of my uterus! We were going to a resort with a giant indoor water park and I was going to be sidelined! I was looking forward to making memories with my kids not sitting 10 feet away from the ladies room all day!

You’re wondering where Wal-Mart comes in right about now, right? So we fly in Christmas Eve and I had the brilliant foresight to use the site-to-store option to send the bigger gifts to the Washington Wal-mart so we didn’t have to take them with us on the plane. I felt pretty brilliant. Then I started feeling super homesick on the way to Wal-Mart and wondered if we had made a huge mistake. I got there an hour before they closed on Christmas Eve and the employee needed my “state issued ID.” I reached for my license and then realized my husband was holding onto the ID’s and the boarding passes in the airport.  I explained this to the guy and then got out my Costco picture ID and asked if that would work.

“No m’am. We need a state issued ID.”- Guy.

“Listen dude, I just flew on a plane with three kids and drove two hours to get here. My hotel is a half hour away and I can’t go back and get my ID. Here’s the confirmation E-mail and a picture ID. This has to be enough!”- Me.

“We need a state issued ID.”- Guy.

“What do you need?! Here’s my picture and I can call and get my ID number from husband if that will work!” -Me.

“No I need to see your state issued ID.” -Guy.

“Don’t mess with me man! I’m in a fragile state!” -Me

It was then that I buried my face in my hands and literally started. to. sob. And I don’t cry! I don’t cry at movies or at Wal-Mart clerks, I just don’t! And I’m usually so nice to workers and waitresses. But I lost it on that guy! Finally he walked in the back, got my frickin’ Baby Alive Doll and I went on my way. I thanked him half-heartedly and walked away. As I was doing so I heard him say “I could lose my job for this.”

And all I could say is “I bet ya can.”

All is well that ends well and my kids were happy Christmas morning but I’ll never forget being the crazy lady at customer service!

Katching Up with the Kardashians

KardashiansMom Confession: When people tell me they “don’t really watch TV” all I can think of is, “What do you DO at night?” So shameful.

Seriously though, it’s 9:00 p.m. I’ve spent the last hour getting the kids to bed and the house is quiet. All I want to do is put on my sweats and watch TV! I’ll occasionally read or blog but my brain is tired and I want to VEG.

So I know this is SOOOO 2010 but I just started watching the Kardashians and I am slightly obsessed. Here’s the best way to watch a reality TV show: Current season first, then go back to the beginning and binge watch from there. It feels like you’re a psychic and you know everything that’s going to happen to them in a few years!

Ever since watching the Bruce Jenner special I’ve been intrigued. Then a few months ago I saw the current season was on Hulu so I gave it a go and I was so fascinated. Just staring at their perfect skin and Kim’s butt was enough to keep me mesmerized. It’s not good for my self-esteem though. What I do like is that Kim full-on shows her getting laser treatments on her butt cellulite. I knew it could NOT be that smooth naturally. That and the fact that she got a “blood facial” and has a daily makeup artist keeps my reality in check. If I poked my own blood platelets into my face I might have a more youthful glow as well.

So I watched the current season and then shamefully Googled all the missing pieces of their lives that I NEEDED to know. Then I realized that the ENTIRE series is on Hulu…plus Kim and Kourtney take Miami and I think even Khloe and Lamar have their own spinoff on there. Literally DAYS on end of Kardashian madness. Bible. (Only those who watch will get that last reference.) The thing is, I’ve never actually heard of anyone ADMITTING to watching this show. I know people do because they add another 10,000 feet to their mansions each year and that money’s gotta be coming from somewhere but no one actually talks about watching. It’s like a dirty little secret. And since I’m all about dishing dirty little secrets on here you can all now come out of the closet and admit you’re obsessed as well.

Or you were in 2010. It still counts.

Bachelor Night Bingo Cards

The Bachelor is BACK! Mom confession: I LOVE the ENTIRE Bachelor Franchise. Bachelor, Bachelorette, alas even Bachelor Pad and now Bachelor in Paradise. The later is my guiltiest of pleasures. But I don’t watch in the hopes of seeing two people fall in love. Does anyone? Nah, I watch for the DRAMA baby! The crazier the girls, the better. The beefier Alpha Male the guys, the better. The sweet Bachelor from the season before who we all fell in love with becomes a slutty D-Bag? YES! (But please not you Ben H. You’re so sweet and untainted from the world. And you look like a grown up Peter Brady.) He really does. SO….drumroll please. In honor of my favorite show and in honor of all the lovely ladies (and gents occasionally) who get together to watch the Bachelor I present to you Bachelor Night Bingo! This PDF should open up 8 unique cards.  Please share and Pin!    Bachelor Night Bingo Bingo CardsBingo 2

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