Month

December 2015

‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving (A puking limerick)

12107734_10153926687539050_6349785656419824141_n‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through our pad

The excitement was brewing and so dear old dad

Bought a carton of eggnog for all to enjoy,

A big giant glass for each girl and each boy.

 

 

 

They each drank it up with a smile and a slurp.

“Give us some more!” they said with a burp.

So daddy agreed and poured the drinks tall,

More eggnog for everyone! Come one, come all!

 

They were feeling content, their bellies were full

All seemed alright ’til one asked for a bowl.

Dad thought they were joking. How could this be?

“It’s just a little tummy ache, wait and see!”

 

They started to squirm, they started to whine

Then for the toilet, the boy made a bee-line.

“But I need to puke too!” said the cute little girl

So into the sink she made a great hurl.

 

Mom was holding back hair and rubbing their backs

But deep down inside she was hiding a laugh.

With a spew in the loo and upchuck in the sink,

The kids stood there for minutes, still on the brink.

 

Then finally it settled they thought they were done,

Turns out it was only beginning, round one.

At the end of the night, the eggnog was gone

It went into their mouths then into the John.

 

For years down the road they’ll remember the night

Eggnog vs. the kids. You know who won that fight.

And next year when dad asks “Who wants a cup?”

All we’ll think about is the double throw up.

 

The Guilt, Fear and Joy of Motherhood

Is motherhood supposed to be this heartbreaking?
Is it supposed to be so full of this fear, dread and guilt?
We wish the best for our kids. We want them to be the most athletic, the smartest, the most talented and sometimes they’re just…not. Sometimes they’re not extraordinary at anything in the world’s eyes and you have to remind yourself that all you really want them to be is who they ARE. And happy.
We feel guilt that maybe they’re not a piano prodigy because we didn’t play Beethoven to them in the womb with headphones. We worry we didn’t read them enough books when they were toddlers. We feel guilt that they learned to read by watching PBS.
We worry that they’ll be bullied… we worry that they will BE the bully.
We dread the day that the innocent spark of youth will be lost from their eyes.
We fear the day they want to go to dance class in hot pants and a tank top instead of a pink leotard and a tutu.
We feel guilt because we haven’t changed that chore chart in months or even made the kids do chores because it’s too fun watching them play Mermaid-Pirates with each other and we’re so just grateful they get along.
We worry we’re not giving our kids enough of us and too many “things.”
We worry we’re either too hard on them or not hard enough. Sometimes the intense love we feel for them rips our heart out again and again which we would gladly do because when it all comes down to it, we would die for our kids.
Then at the end of the day when we’ve yelled at them three times to brush their teeth and their lights are finally off all they want…at the end of the day… is US. They want mommy. We are ENOUGH for them and they are ENOUGH for us.

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